Told Kam I think I’m gay this morning. Late night he told me they being with me was like being in a soap opera. THESE ARE THE DAYS OF OUR LIVES… He says he won’t be my guinea pig, while I figure out what the fuck it is that I want. This all started last night after I got home from work and will of my fun packages had arrived, including his mask. That meant we both now had masks and could make a video together, without being known. I was excited for the prospect. He was not. His lack of excitement depressed me, but I decided to go ahead at get myself ready last night so I could take some more explicit pics of myself for my newly started amateur page on xtube. I got ready. I took some pics by myself, and then attempted to get Kam involved. Nada. So I just stopped. Cleaned off the make up. Removed the wig. Went to bed. I laid there thinking all night, why? Why do I want this so badly. Enough to let it affect my relationship. I came to the conclusion that I must be going through some type of sexual break through, and am some how trying to actually physically manifest this revolution, live on cam. I decided I must be gay. I’ve been with woman before. I’m not against it. I currently can’t stand the thought of fucking any man other than kam. So I must be gay, right? But still.. I’m not even sure of that.