To clear some things up, I’d like to include some more information on my diagnosis. Like I mentioned before, I’ve been living with these conditions for many years. I’ve been completely honest with kam since the beginning and he too suffers from his own issues. There is no judgement from his part. When I was first diagnosed I knew nothing of theses illnesses, nor did I understand how major the meds that you have to be on are. I bounced on and off meds for years. Playing a guinea pig,trying to figure out what works. Moving often, losing insurances, changing jobs. All of those things have managed to keep me from properly taking my meds. Until recently. 9 months ago I found a more stable place in my life. I’m now properly medicated. This is what has surprised me the most about all of the feelings and urges I’m having to publicly put myself on display in order to arouse others. The meds seem to me to be working. I feel a calm within I haven’t felt… maybe ever. Im thinking the meds are working so well, I’m now able to listen to my self. My imaginings. My longings. Things that were just a fluttering of a thought before are now able to be heard loud and clear.